The ringmaster/host/mc of the Would You Rather…? Empire is "The Deity." A cross between Charles Manson and Gabe Kaplan, the deity is the one responsible for creating and presenting the WYR dilemmas. It is the deity who asks "Would you rather... have a permanent smile or a permanent erection?" And it is the deity who orders, without exception, that you must choose. No one knows exactly why he does this; suffice to say, it's for reasons beyond your understanding.

Nearly omnipotent, often ruthless, and obsessed with former NBA seven footers, the deity is a random idea generator with a peculiar predilection for intervening in your life in the strangest of ways.

The essence of the deity lies in the eyes. For in his eyes, there is wrath. In his eyes, there is absurdity. In his eyes, there is majesty, power, distance. And yet also in these eyes, somewhere around the iris, there is just a hint of hurt. His are the eyes of a nearly omnipotent yet vulnerable deity with a mind, warped and wonderful, and one which without exception operates for reasons beyond your understanding.